How Southern Humboldt gave me back my heart and also broke it. That was the month that I spent in the hills. I met the first land partners from the 1960's and the children who were born of the original movement. I came from a Rural town in Oregon. A rather fast paced and furious place.The kind of place that if you failed to make the morning fire; you could freeze to death with temperatures at -0 on any given day. The kind of place where you were taught to set your heart aside and function because it is the practical thing to do.
I came from this furious environmental rat race and into the Redwood bosom of the emerald canopy.
The first principals of Buddhist beliefs came into place; 'Be where you are.' and also another teaching 'Be your own master.' these were principals that I learned to live closely with. A sort of healing toook place in those weeks that I looked up into the Ancient canopy. Where I learned to smell the earth; feel the ground beneath my feet. To bathe in rainwater on a hill side that looked down upon what was left of the Ancient Giants. I made a friend there, and she brought my heart back into my body. I had previously, lost any attachment to myself and did not realize it until I met a woman that lived off of the land. A woman who had made her place in the world. A woman that stood to protect the giant trees.
I met my best friend there. You can always say that you have a best friend that you have known forever; but what about when your soul resonates off of someone and you learn to sing? That is my special friend there. We sat drinking coffee and for the first time in a decade, a woman really talked to me.
I left, and every so often, my mind goes back to these strong women. The largest heart that I have ever felt. I took some beliefs with me. Since, I have had my heart broken by the outside. I did not realize the effect that the world had on me. I know what it is to participate on a cellular level with the world that encompasses all living things. I feel either everything or nothing at all. The balance to live outside of the Emerald Veil of love and walk among the monsters in the barren landscape that is beyond the treeline. I live in two worlds; I live in the world of feeling and intuition, yet I walk among the 'living dead' everyday. It is heartbreaking. Everyday that I am not in SoHum my heart is broken; But because I was there I have learned to fall in love with at least one thing or person everyday. An idea, a living thing, hope.
